Finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with can be a very daunting task. Knowing exactly what you are looking for can be even harder. They say, however, that before you begin searching for this perfect person you must first be happy with yourself.
How do you feel about the person you are? Are you happy with the way you look? Are you happy in your career? Do you feel good about yourself? If you answered yes to these questions, you may be ready to meet your life partner.
The following are things to consider when choosing that perfect someone.
Attraction – Physical And Emotional
Even though many fail to admit it, physical attraction is often the first thing that draws us to someone. This is not surprising considering we are visual creatures. However, that being said, once we get past the outer appearance, we are able to further see the whole person.
People often say, “don’t judge a book by its cover” because sometimes the beauty on the outside doesn’t extend to the inside. This is where the emotional attraction comes into play. A person who has empathy, integrity, and who is kind, and respectful possess additional qualities that extend beyond their physical appearance.
Being Comfortable With Each Other
It’s important when choosing a life partner that you feel comfortable enough to be your true self. You should be free to have fun around this person, free to laugh, joke, play and just be silly sometimes. They should be someone with whom there is no judgment, someone who you can fully trust with your deepest secrets and dreams.
Sharing Similar Core Values
Values are important because they make up who you are. They are the “rules of life”, things that are very important to you. They include such things as religion, politics, family beliefs, success and other internal beliefs that sculpt your desired way of life. If these values are not shared by your partner, it can result in conflict and disagreements.
Essentially, you don’t need to share the exact values, however the more you have in common the better the chance that you will have a stronger, sustainable and happier relationship.
Sharing Similar Interests And Goals
Having similar interests is important. Being able to do things together that you both enjoy will promote a happy sustainable relationship. For example, do you both like to travel? Do you both enjoy being active or sociable? What other interests do you have in common?
Additionally, sharing similar life goals is vital for long-term relationship growth and commitment. However, there should be room for compromise and flexibility considering it’s unrealistic to expect your potential partner to have the exact life goals as yourself.
Achieve a balance between similarities and differences that support a mutual happiness without sacrificing each other’s personal character and desired lifestyle.
Once you have found your potential partner, take the time to evaluate their core values, interests and goals, personal history, and overall character to determine compatibility.
Do you see yourself growing old with this person? Can you visualize a life with this person, or more importantly, without this person?
You need to be clear about what you want for your future and know what aspects of your partner you are willing to accept and what aspects are deal breakers. Never choose someone with the intention of changing them to suit your idea of the perfect partner.
Do not confuse companionship with love and thereby settle with someone out of comfort or fear of loneliness. Choosing someone for the wrong reasons will eventually make you unhappy and unfulfilled.
In the end, the person you choose to spend your life with should above all else be someone who you can truly love and respect, and someone who will bring you a lifetime of happiness and joy.
Additionally, they should make you feel loved, respected and appreciated. They should make you feel good about yourself and you should feel happy knowing that you have chosen the right person.
“The most perfect relationship is the one that supports you in fulfilling your destiny – the one that empowers you to be everything you are meant to be in this world and beyond” Jan H. Stringer